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I'M Onyi Silmon

My purpose as a luxury real estate agent is to help you build a legacy which speaks to who are you.

By inspiring you to live a life where there are no limits.

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5 Lessons I Want My Teenage Son To Know Before I Die

Published November 14th, 2019 by The Silmon Group

As a real estate agent, I believe my true job description is to be a legacy-builder. An agent helps people find the place where they will begin the hard work of creating a legacy they can be proud of. What one leaves behind to their loved ones is important, don’t you think?

As a mother of four children, I think of my legacy and what I want to leave behind or teach my children. Especially for my one and only son, my first child. 

I realize that your first child is your "learning child." Raising your first child is much like learning to ride a bicycle. At first, you fall and scrape your knees, but still, get up. With practice, you ride your bicycle and suffer fewer scrapes and cuts.

Here are the lessons I want to leave behind for my son when I am no longer here to speak them.

Manhood Is Not Defined By A Lack of Emotion

My son, true manhood is not defined by outside influences. Your manhood must, and only can be, be defined by your Creator. 

Furthermore, machismo and manhood are not synonymous. Machismo says that there are human emotions you should shun or be ashamed of. On the other hand manhood welcomes and is comfortable with every emotion.

Showing the entire spectrum of human emotion is healthy. This includes crying because true strength isn’t defined by the notion you can’t cry. Rather, it’s defined by how you choose to act after the tears have fallen from your face. A man secure within himself can cry just as much as he can laugh.

Take Responsibility For Your Mistakes

 You will fail, and since you are still young, my son, it will most likely be often as you try to figure out who you are in this world. That is okay. Living in a reality where nothing is ever your fault, where you blame everyone and anyone for things that go wrong, is futile. Only you possess the ability to change yourself.

 Even when you experience disappointment or hurt at the hands of your fellow man (or even me, your mother), choosing to focus on how to solve the situation rather than who is at fault will enable you to feel empowered rather than victimized.

The lessons I want my son to learn before I die. Advice for my son from a mother.

Love Wholly and Without Reservation

 Love is a powerful thing. It’s the only emotion capable of changing the darkest places. So embrace it. Love in its true sense will sometimes make you appear weak to others, but nothing is further from the truth. 

What is love? True love is service. If you love someone, you seek to serve them. Service will inevitably include sacrifice. Love does not put those you claim to love in harm’s way for your own gratification.

 Most importantly, love – and this is something your mother struggles with – forgives more than it keeps records of wrong.

 You do this, my son because you were first loved and therefore are called to do the same. This will not always be easy. In fact, there will be times it will seem downright impossible.

 These are the times where divine love and human love can’t coincide, so you seek divine love so that you remain tethered to love.  

Hard Times Will Come 

You are filled with so much potential, and you cannot quantify it. The only being capable of fully understanding what lies within you is your God. Knowing this, in order to reach this potential, you will inevitably meet hard times in an effort to build it. 

You are not promised a life without trials. These trials are integral to the building of your character, just as much as any success. Go through them with as much grace as you can muster, because God is alongside you in these times.

There will be times you ask if He is truly there, and that is a part of the human experience. During these times, enter into the quiet places of your soul to seek God. If you wait long enough in this place, he will give you a strength and peace that surpasses all understanding. 

He will give you the will to pick yourself up, if only it just for that day. He will give you the will to and see that any trail, no matter how crushing, is meant to refine you – and that this too shall pass.

Pray – and When You Can’t, Pray Some More

 The one thing in your arsenal which you can use fight the impossible does not lie in the temporal. The only thing that will change a situation that appears hopeless is prayer. So, pray, and pray often. Pray not only for yourself, but for others. Pray for guidance. Pray for peace. Whatever you do, just pray. 

Prayer is the only way you can speak to your source, God. This is why it is important to never allow your resources to become a substitute for your source. When you do this, you will live a life wrought with chaos and confusion. 

There will be times when you won’t be able to pray, because the troubles that await will make the bending of your knees a feat you cannot accomplish on your own. This is time for your brother or sister to pray for you. Leaning on this continues the work behind the scenes that God is doing on your behalf to change the situation.  

I know I will not always impart these important lessons in the right way. I give this to you so that it can be your silent friend on this journey called life. 

It can speak for me when, in my own shortcomings, I allow emotions rather than wisdom to rule my mouth. Always remember, my love, that you have a mother who is here. And while my expectations for you will not change, you can be certain that your mother will never stop loving you.

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