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I'M Onyi Silmon

My purpose as a luxury real estate agent is to help you build a legacy which speaks to who are you.

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Confessions From My Past: Lessons You Need To Know

Published February 21st, 2019 by The Silmon Group


Hey girl,

Future Onyi here. You know I used to judge you. I spent a lot of time looking at you and wanting to forget all about you. There were so many qualities you lacked that I didn’t want to be reminded of. 

Onyi, listen carefully to my words, please hear me out-I want you to know what you were really missing in those years. What took a decade of listening to your inner critic to understand: 

Expectations

You were raised in a household where you were held to a very high standard. You wondered if you would live up to the qualities your parents impressed on you as the eldest of seven children.  You sought to shuck these responsibilities out of feelings of inadequacy. Consequently, causing you to look in every direction but the one you were called to. 

You were given everything you needed to accomplish this and you will not escape momentary feelings of self-doubt or fear. These feelings come with leadership. In fact, leadership can sometimes be a lonely void of fear and doubt. 

You will fear the voices in your head that tell you are not enough.  These moments are meant to humble you. If you never doubt yourself or fear the consequences then it is time to worry. A true leader thinks of others before themselves. The self-doubt will help you empathize and allow you to realize it is not just about you. Live with this just never allow it to control you. 

Mistakes

Your mistakes must'nt be the end of you. You can't dwell on them past what is useful as a way of self-inflicted punishment. What if I was to tell you Onyi that your mistakes could be a catalyst for learning and an opportunity to change your perspective.  They can one day with time, be a source of joy.

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I do not want you to believe it will erase the pain from these incidents. Pain is the natural consequence of veering from the path you are called to follow. However, this pain does not define you but can be the very thing which motivates you to get up and keep striving. 

If you have hope you can do this.  Hold onto hope when the pain wants to overtake you, Hope that your tomorrow will not look like today. 

Ambition

 Being a good wife and mother does not mean you forget about you. If you are not complete by yourself you are no good to anyone. Motherhood calls for you to be sacrificial but you cannot do this properly if you are just a shell of the woman you are meant to be.

 After all, the most loving thing you could do for your family is to take care of you. They need you.  Most importantly they need a complete you. 

They do not need a woman who seeks to quiet any ambition within herself out of a false belief she is doing what is best for her family. Your ambition to be outside the home is no different than the woman who desires to remain at home.  They are both callings on the heart and should be honored as such. 

Does that mean you will not struggle? Of course not, being a working mother is hard yet so is being a stay at home mom. You will always have to balance being a mother with another role

Comparison

Your journey is not going to look like another person ’s journey. You gain nothing with comparison. You have a unique and necessary imprint in this world. 

Onyi if your classmate has to spend less time on a test to make an A. So what! Focus on you. It doesn’t make you less, it makes you YOU. Besides, you were endowed with certain gifts for a reason but there is no way to find out what they are if you’re focused on other people

Get comfortable with your imperfections and weaknesses because they are integral to who you are just as much as your strengths. Because it shows you that you are not invincible and must pause to think.  

Grit

Things will not always work out. No, this is not a sign to give up. It is a sign to buckle down and dig deeper. Those who accomplish wonders do so because they know their failures do not define them. Do not give up before you learn the lesson. 

Failure is simply a signposted in the road to your destination. If you heed its direction you will be taken to a different path. If you give up before this though you do not get to learn the lesson. The lesson is reserved for those who had the grit to keep going. So be fearless because failure can be your very best friend. 

Pleasing Others

You can’t please everyone. It is impossible. Instead, seek to please God. He is the maker of your life and the only Being who should hold it’s strings. Do not spend your life worrying about how others will see you. It is an exercise in futility and you will not prosper in this attitude. 

When you seek to please people, you ignore the spirit inside which desires to lead you in the right direction.  If you are unsure what next step to take, seek wise counsel and after this if you are not convicted, then be still. Sometimes what God requires is a still mind and heart in order to hear Him

Consistency

Consistency matters more than talent. It does not matter how talented you are if you are unwilling to commit to consistent development. Development is not held within the confines of talent. Rather it is known in the exponential growth attained from persistent hard work.

 Consistency is not innate in you, but this is a discipline you must commit to as well. Consistency will tell you to ignore procrastination and when you do this you will be able to attain your true potential. 


Most importantly Onyi you will be okay. I want you to allow hope to reign eternally in your heart, experience the joy of life, and approach life with awe so you are able to attain wisdom.

Your Truest Friend,

Older You


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